8/2/2014

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Remarrying Your Ex-spouse

Although most people marry for love, some marry for reasons other than love, such as money, convenience, companionship, and some even marry just because they are asked. And although people marry for the wrong reasons, they grow to love each other, even if they are not "in love" with each other at first.

The fact is that many people marry for the wrong reasons, and for that, they end up in divorce court, even if the have grown to love each other and, while they are divorcing, they still love each other.

Why they decide to divorce in the first place is anybody's guess, but once the divorce ball starts rolling, it picks up momentum and gets harder to stop, and it keeps on rolling until the divorce is finalized.

Then something strange happens. After the divorce proceedings are complete, after going their separate ways, by some twist of fate, the couple starts seeing each other again, realize that they really do still love each other, or they think they do, and they decide to remarry.

It is not an uncommon event for couples to remarry after living apart for many years. In the meantime, they may marry someone else, have children, and either divorce the new spouse or become widowed, then decide to remarry each other.

Question: If you are divorced, would you consider remarrying your ex-spouse?

  • There is an old saying that goes, "An ex is an ex for a reason."

Think about it. Why did you divorce in the first place? Who initiated the divorce? Was there cheating and infidelity? Was there mental or physical cruelty? Was the divorce action started for purely selfish reasons on your part, or on the ex-spouse's part? Was it because you just couldn't get along? Was money, or the lack of it, the reason?

At the time of the divorce, maybe one spouse was in love and the other one wasn't, which happens more than we care to admit in many marriages. As stated above, some people marry for reasons other than love.

There are many reasons why couples file for divorce, but the reasons for remarrying are few. They may remarry because of their children, for income tax purposes, or simply for companionship.

Although some couples remarry for purposes of convenience, most remarry because they come to realize that they really do love each other and that it was a mistake to get divorced in the first place. When you remarry an ex-spouse, you are actually marrying someone that you already know, so you already know what you are going to get.

The great thing about human nature is that there is always the capacity to forgive and forget, to let bygones be bygones, and to start anew.

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