Problems Caused By Divorce

Many mental and physical problems can arise out of the headaches and heartbreaks due to the dissolution of a marriage, and at times, they can cause anguish that run very deep, way beyond the normal stress of day to day living. Some problems can be overcome in a short time, but others linger on for years.

Divorce is a traumatic experience and people deal with the fallout in different ways. To end a marriage, especially if there are children involved, is not to be taken lightly. There is stress and anxiety, and everyone involved suffers in one way or another.

Children suffer the same maladies as grownups, and they may suffer the effects in a much more pronounced way. Many suffer in silence, not knowing how to cope with their feelings, their fears, and their needs, so they keep their thoughts and emotions to themselves.

Many adults suffer in silence, too. Even though divorces are no longer thought of as the ugly end to a bad marriage, not everyone has the strength to let go of the past. Some people still feel that divorce is beneath them and it hurts their pride.

When a divorce occurs, it doesn't always happen because both spouses fall out of love. Quite the contrary. Sometimes one spouse still loves the other, or, both spouses may still love each other, but they can't show the affection, or they succumb to other circumstances, or other people get in the way.

Men and women go through the divorce aftermath in many of the same ways, but, they also suffer the consequences of divorce in different ways.

• Women may feel that they are at a much greater disadvantage because they may not have a work history and may have to find a job for the first time, move from the home they had lived in for years into an apartment or back in with her parents, find new schools for their children, or they may have been totally dependent upon their husbands for support and love. A woman may suffer from a lack of confidence, a lack of self esteem, and she may feel pressure from their ex-husband to be there for him if he needs her.
• Men also face severe problems from divorce. He may feel hurt and guilty over having to move out of the home he had shared with his ex-wife and children. A man may struggle with loneliness and anxiety, feelings of anger, despair, and jealousy, especially if it was not him who wanted the divorce, and he may find himself struggling to pay his bills. Child support is another issue of contention. He may feel that the amount of child support that he has to pay is unfair because his ex-wife uses the children to get what she wants from him.

Because of the negative impact from financial losses such as the loss of a second income, having to move away from a home, the loss of medical insurance coverage, possible bankruptcy, many divorcees experience sleepless nights, self degradation, bouts with alcohol and drugs, anger, loneliness, and problems associated with anxiety and depression.

The whole family suffers when there is a divorce. Both the husband and the wife, the children, and at times, the inlaws, are all affected in one way or the other.

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